The World Rewards The Listener
- 13 Sep 2019 -
In life, we struggle to connect. There can be a paradoxical relationship where the more we attempt to communicate, the more isolated we feel, a vicious, painful and lonely cycle.
But what if this world is not communicating simply because this world is not listening? Our brain tells us that if we say more, if we act differently, then, maybe, we will be acknowledged. Maybe our voice will be heard.
What if the world doesn’t need more voices?
People need someone to listen. Listening is yet another precious source of wealth and value that the world asks for but often does not receive.
When we listen, a strange phenomenon occurs. The less one speaks, the more others will open up. They stop talking about the weather. They don’t attempt to force a meaningless interaction. They start to open up.
When stopping to appreciate the moment and just listen, there is no agenda. You are just sharing in the moment with another. It becomes safe to slow down, safer to enjoy the pauses and silence with someone close to you. The tension of needing to speak the right words, the feeling that something must be done, might begin to dissolve over time.
Perhaps when listening, you clear space for another to think. They stop feeling like you are waiting for your turn to talk. They start to trust you, for no other reason than that they can tell that you are focused on them, that the conversation is for them and not for yourself. Listening can make them feel safe enough to express themselves.
Of course, what you give, you get. You will find that others will want to do the same for you. They will want to turn their full attention to hear what you have to say. You’ve given them what no one else has, and they feel grateful and appreciative. They don’t want to listen to you because they need to, or should listen to you, but because you’ve given them a gift, and feeling that in their heart, they desire to give a gift back.
Conversations with friends or strangers can change to no longer be mandatory, socially correct engagements. They can flow naturally, with interactions that don’t end awkwardly, because it ends when it is ready to end. Perhaps there is even a bit of unspoken trust that the engagement is finished. Lingering in the air is a mutual, unspoken sensation of satisfaction, perhaps of a deeper connection, that seems to come only when it feels like the moment mattered.
In Navigating Possibility (link), I look into how changing the topic of conversation could be a way to direct us towards a different state of reality.
Thanks for Reading!